Category Archives: my story
we’re 26 weeks today. right now he weighs about a pound and 2/3rds, and measures around 14 inches, or the length of an english hothouse cucumber. his nerves in his ear are developing and he can hear more now. he is putting on his baby fat now, and his boy parts are dropping into place. we have only 14 weeks until we meet castle.
i feel myself changing, shifting into someone who is less positive, but far more realistic. not sure how long it will last, or where it is headed, but i have noticed it all the same. i wouldn’t go so far as to call me a realist, b/c that is almost laughable… but i do think it helps to handle things instead of pretend things are honky-dory. i also think that insisting that everyone be positive would make for a very very dull and complacent.
i am exhausted today and sick. last night’s headache turned into this morning’s puke-fest, only to be interrupted by hubby’s own headache. he woke me up at least four times through out the night. two cups of coffee in and i’m still really not feeling this day. sure, i have plenty to be thankful for, and my baby’s healthy, but i’m just not feeling it.
i’m grumpy and i kind of just feel like crying. the hormones are supposed to be evening out, but the puking and crying suggest other wise. mean while my husband is starting to look at me like i’m a child throwing a temper tantrum. part of me understands, but part of me wants to tell him off. sigh…
the girls are watching penguins of madagascar on repeat and i am losing it. i don’t want to hear those voices ever ever again, in my life, or possibly the next life.
to top it ALL off we’re in a tropical storm warning for the next few days, so we will be inside, even though it hasn’t starting raining YET. it’s just grey and the pressure is darn near intolerable. the whole house has a headache and i’m just about to the point of rain dancing in the yard to get this over with.
the thought of crying and dancing as the rain falls on me sounds peaceful and so so nice to me. this has to mean i have finally lost every piece of my sanity and my pride. i could lay down in the mud right now and sleep.
i hear it’s good for healing.
i wish i had some sweet stuff to share, but at this point i am just pretty sick and tired. the baby is growing fast and sucking most of the life from me. i am grateful to know that this means baby is healthy and safe. baby is getting all the nutrients baby needs from me. so, i am taking lots of vitamins and eating more fruit. it has been easier since greasy foods make me even more sick.
this picture shows which baby parts i am growing right now. the baby looks more like a shrimp creature than a human for now, but that should change more by the 8th week. i will take some belly pics when i start to show, but for now i am wearing my regular clothes. 🙂
well, i still haven’t been to the doctor, so i haven’t had an ultrasound, but i have figured up the math. my first trimester started on march 31st, and that would make me in my 6th week now. so, i am about 6 weeks pregnant and ready to see this baby on the screen. i just wanna heat it’s heart beat, and know that everything is going well in there. i am not looking forward to the pap smear or the blood test though. i detest cold metal objects or all sizes, but especially needles. i hate needles. hate is a strong word, but yeah… i seriously hate them!!!
big news here at casa de smith!!! we’re pregnant!!!
i have not had an ultrasound, but the online calculator estimates that we are 4 weeks along. i am already exhausted and having a lot of back pain, falling asleep earlier and napping in the day. i feel my energy being drained from my body, but i know that it is all worth it.
i am creating a tiny person inside of me, and i cannot wait to see who this tiny person will become.
since i already have two girls, i am really hoping for a boy this time, but i will love a boy or girl just the same.
not sure how i have missed this for so very long, but it’s national dance week!! yay!!! it ends on international dance day, which is this sunday the 29th.
i love dance. i love watching dance and i love dancing.
i started dancing before i can remember, and when i was potty trained, my granny enrolled me in dance classes. i went into a class with girlsa older than me, and i stayed in their class for the rest of my life. i took ballet and tap for a while, then started tumbling. by the time i graduated high school i was taking five to six hours of dance per week. i had done countless solos including clara in my town’s version of the nutcracker. i spent those afternoons with the other girls, learning to count music and dance. i started taking point when i was 12. everyone else waited until they were 13….i think. i’m not certain on the ages, only that i started at a younger age. i did the nutcracker every winter, a recital every spring, and dance camps every summer. eventually i started doing musicals, and i loved dancing in them too. one year at drama camp i was awarded the “best dancer award” for my training in that year’s “42nd street”.
i stopped taking lessons after my senior year, but my dance instructor asked me to come home and be the rat king for the nutcracker.
(not our production, but that is what the rat king is)
after having two kids i became too tired and out of shape to be the rat king. the kids no longer wanted to drag my dead carcass across the floor, or maybe they needed a new king… but i handed over my crown and sword to a younger rat… for now. those shoes have permanently damaged my feet. i have bunions on both my feet and arthritis (self diagnosed) in my ankles.
every year the other adults tell me that i must come back. i have missed the last two years, opting to watch my daughters parts instead.
that will all be changing soon enough. 🙂
i am moving the girls to a dance troop in our own town, and they have classes for adults too. part of me feels foolish for being a grown up in ballet class, but it is the best exercise for me. i love it. 😀
they also offer belly dancing classes which i will definitely take. it is something i have wanted to do for a very very long time.